Saturday, June 8 –
Summary report to Mission President
We have had many trips
to Temuco for follow up appointments with doctors. The diabetic doctor said
Elder Babcock didn't need to worry about insulin. His glucose counts were
going down with the decrease in Prednisone. The urologist wants a blood test to
do the prostate cancer check. The neurologist, Dr. Rivas, recommended more
blood work and a hematologist. The infectious disease doctor said its tests
from the new blood work are good and didn't see why she wanted more tests.
But they want to monitor the effects of the drug withdrawal. In the coming
week Elder Babcock has a hearing test and an appointment with the ear doctor.
In addition to the new blood tests there will be an
electroencephalography test an another appointment with the neurologist.
The week after the Elder Babcock sees the hematologist and infectious
disease doctor again. We may skip the urologist if we can tell the test results
are good. You pick up the test results and hand carry them to the
doctors. I have to carry around all the tests that were done while Elder
Babcock was in the clinic, so the doctors can compare them with what is going
on now. Every appointment costs between 60 and 70 dollars.
We think that generally everything is improving. Elder Babcock has difficulty focusing after a while if meetings go too long. He attended all three meetings on Sunday and branch council afterwards and ended up tired but animated. He decided not to attend the zone meeting on Tuesday, but wanted me to attend.
Hearing continues as a problem, and he doesn't like to answer the phone. But he has tried been willing to make a couple of phone calls. The biggest problem is that he can not remember almost nothing about the first months of our mission. He had no memory of the District of Victoria and the presidency meetings he had. He can remember faces, but without information and experiences. He can use the computer and is gradually figuring out how to do things in the process of reorganizing everything. He is having to relearn how to use excel and google drive. He doesn't remember why things are organized they way they were and it has sometimes been a challenge for me to find where he has put things.
He is quite concerned that he has no memory of the church computer systems or how to the training of branch clerks. Pieces of memory often come back, but he doesn't always understand how new information fits with old information. It is a slow process. He doesn't know what he doesn't know. There is a great potential for confusion and misunderstanding. Confident communication with church leaders seems almost impossible.
Communication between us has been a challenge. Some decisions that were made in the past are not remembered as decided. Sometimes we find we have moved in different directions. I often think he understands things when he doesn't have enough context to really know what I am saying or the ramifications.
He has no confidence in driving the car. Too much confusion and more than one thing at a time is difficult. He needs many reminders about appointments and medication. It is a test of humility for him and difficult to explain to others. He feels like I am always looking over his shoulder and second guessing his decisions. And I am.
He remembers his decision to do the dishes for me and I try to be patient enough to let him do them, but they still aren't a high priority for him. When dirty dishes don't fit neatly in the sink and when I can't find what I need to cook, I end up doing them myself.
I have decided that my housekeeping priorities are:
1. Get rid of the garbage, empty bags and boxes, and junk papers. out of the house.
2. Collect all the dirty dishes into the sink the food scraped out and disposed of)
3. Get the dishes washed and put away.
4. Have clothes hung up or put away as wearable or put in dirty clothes hamper.
5. Deal with piles. - have as few as possible.
a. Have like things together
b. Eliminate garbage from piles
c. Put things on shelves or in drawers or as a last resort in organized boxes.
d. Whenever possible have things near where they will be used.
6. Sweep when the floors get embarrassing.
7. Clean counters and surfaces before they are embarrassing or unsanitary.
8. Wash and dry clothes and put away clean clothes before I have to wash and dry more clothes.
9. Make my bed every day.
Married life is complicated, but I am grateful to have someone who needs me. I am grateful to have someone I can ask for help. I am grateful I don't have to do everything alone. My sweet husband does many things that make me happy. He helps me feel loved and appreciated. I love him and need him. I am glad he is alive and that we are together on a mission.
I know this is a hard time for him. The doctors talk about recovery being a matter of months. It would be nice if we were able to do more missionary things. We are working on daily exercise and scripture and communicating with missionaries. I have a list of things that are waiting for windows of energy and desire. I try to be patient and helpful.
I need to focus my prayers and efforts on how to
hear and be heard when hearing is a challenge.
determine what has and hasn't been communicated.
remember medications and appointments.
know when reminders are needed.
give reminders in a helpful way.
understand who is responsible for what.
know how best to help each other with responsibilities.
understand when and how to transfer responsibility or quit helping.
reestablish good patterns that have been disrupted.
adjust to new patterns and work together on building better ones
We think that generally everything is improving. Elder Babcock has difficulty focusing after a while if meetings go too long. He attended all three meetings on Sunday and branch council afterwards and ended up tired but animated. He decided not to attend the zone meeting on Tuesday, but wanted me to attend.
Hearing continues as a problem, and he doesn't like to answer the phone. But he has tried been willing to make a couple of phone calls. The biggest problem is that he can not remember almost nothing about the first months of our mission. He had no memory of the District of Victoria and the presidency meetings he had. He can remember faces, but without information and experiences. He can use the computer and is gradually figuring out how to do things in the process of reorganizing everything. He is having to relearn how to use excel and google drive. He doesn't remember why things are organized they way they were and it has sometimes been a challenge for me to find where he has put things.
He is quite concerned that he has no memory of the church computer systems or how to the training of branch clerks. Pieces of memory often come back, but he doesn't always understand how new information fits with old information. It is a slow process. He doesn't know what he doesn't know. There is a great potential for confusion and misunderstanding. Confident communication with church leaders seems almost impossible.
Communication between us has been a challenge. Some decisions that were made in the past are not remembered as decided. Sometimes we find we have moved in different directions. I often think he understands things when he doesn't have enough context to really know what I am saying or the ramifications.
He has no confidence in driving the car. Too much confusion and more than one thing at a time is difficult. He needs many reminders about appointments and medication. It is a test of humility for him and difficult to explain to others. He feels like I am always looking over his shoulder and second guessing his decisions. And I am.
He remembers his decision to do the dishes for me and I try to be patient enough to let him do them, but they still aren't a high priority for him. When dirty dishes don't fit neatly in the sink and when I can't find what I need to cook, I end up doing them myself.
I have decided that my housekeeping priorities are:
1. Get rid of the garbage, empty bags and boxes, and junk papers. out of the house.
2. Collect all the dirty dishes into the sink the food scraped out and disposed of)
3. Get the dishes washed and put away.
4. Have clothes hung up or put away as wearable or put in dirty clothes hamper.
5. Deal with piles. - have as few as possible.
a. Have like things together
b. Eliminate garbage from piles
c. Put things on shelves or in drawers or as a last resort in organized boxes.
d. Whenever possible have things near where they will be used.
6. Sweep when the floors get embarrassing.
7. Clean counters and surfaces before they are embarrassing or unsanitary.
8. Wash and dry clothes and put away clean clothes before I have to wash and dry more clothes.
9. Make my bed every day.
Married life is complicated, but I am grateful to have someone who needs me. I am grateful to have someone I can ask for help. I am grateful I don't have to do everything alone. My sweet husband does many things that make me happy. He helps me feel loved and appreciated. I love him and need him. I am glad he is alive and that we are together on a mission.
I know this is a hard time for him. The doctors talk about recovery being a matter of months. It would be nice if we were able to do more missionary things. We are working on daily exercise and scripture and communicating with missionaries. I have a list of things that are waiting for windows of energy and desire. I try to be patient and helpful.
I need to focus my prayers and efforts on how to
hear and be heard when hearing is a challenge.
determine what has and hasn't been communicated.
remember medications and appointments.
know when reminders are needed.
give reminders in a helpful way.
understand who is responsible for what.
know how best to help each other with responsibilities.
understand when and how to transfer responsibility or quit helping.
reestablish good patterns that have been disrupted.
adjust to new patterns and work together on building better ones
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